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Every day I used to pick up my colleague and head to office together…… least I knew something unusual awaits my fate. I woke up in the morning, prepared breakfast for my daughter and husband, packed the lunch boxes and moved out, my husband always used to drop my daughter to the school but that day he had to report early to his office, so I dropped my little princess and was little late to pick up my colleague.
While reaching the pick-up spot I saw few people gathered at the corner, and I just overheard the people saying my office name, on hearing that I was sure it was her and something had happened to her. By then ambulance has arrived and there she was lying in a pool of blood, I quickly made my way toward her, collected her belongings and promised her to meet at the hospital.
I reached the hospital and heard she lost a lot of blood and that I need to arrange, I forgot I didn’t inform my office, I then informed my office and asked for help. Meanwhile, the doctor informed that the hospital has exhausted O negative blood and I need to go and get it somehow, I didn’t have to do much because even I am O-negative, so I asked the doctor whether I can donate blood, besides during my college days, every year I used to donate blood so it wasn’t a scary for me. Within half an hour my colleagues and Shilpa’s husband and other relative arrived and even her husband managed to get blood from other blood banks. The doctor said she was out of danger and slowly we headed towards our office.
The next morning I received a call from the hospital and the doctor asked me to visit, I was little worried and asked was there anything major to worry about Shilpa, and he said it was just a routine call and that I must come. On reaching the hospital I met my colleague and she was fine and recovering.
The nurse came and asked me to meet the doctor, the doctor looked serious and I could make out from his face that something was wrong with my friend. He started to ask weird questions like how long I have been married. Did I have any extra marital affairs or do I have any doubts about my husband? I couldn’t withstand anymore and firmly asked them to get to the point. The point where my life was about to end…….
The blood which I have donated was HIV infected and he wanted me to believe it, I was much relaxed after hearing their concern because I knew there was some mistake in the report. The doctor confirmed that there is absolutely no chance of a mistake, as I used to donate blood every year and only after pregnancy I stopped. But my fate proved me wrong and yes I am HIV positive. I was asked to visit again with my husband and daughter for another test.
I was staring at the doctor in incredulity, it was more off I felt cheated by the person whom I loved and believed the most, and I couldn’t believe that my husband indulged in some adult act in spite of our happy married life. I was shaken and shattered my daughter was only 3 years old and I don’t know whether my daughter is infected or not. I was more worried about facing my husband’s confession about his secret affairs, moreover, I didn’t know what to say.
Without wasting any time I headed to my daughter’s school to pick her up and get the test done, I somehow dropped unconscious on the road and escaped an accident by a second. A lady who brought me back to senses thought I tried to commit suicide, she said she was following me from the hospital and that she was a volunteer from Turnstone Global and they have helped many HIV-affected lives and she was there at the hospital because of a patient.
My husband returned home that day I didn’t make food I just hugged him and cried I couldn’t say anything even. He ordered some food and then I broke the news that he and our daughter needs to go through a HIV test. He was shocked verbally abused me and asked me to leave the house immediately, he just couldn’t tolerate me anymore without any question I left and shifted to a hotel nearby.
I was felt humiliated for no fault of mine, I felt so ashamed that I felt like ending my life, the lady from Turnstone Global shared her number and she was the only one with whom I was comfortable to speak. She was a rock solid support for quite some time, as my husband did not contact me nor my parents were interested to see me again.
I rented a new home, I knew I have lost my family forever, but I was slowly slipping into depression, this lady took me to a counselor at their organization and it was with her, I started feeling better. But still one question didn’t have any answer, that how did I get infected, but to my surprise this lady asked me whether I visited any salon lately for any peeling or threading purpose and then it stroke me that a month ago I was there at a saloon and while threading the skin got a deep cut. The counselor then explained that it might had happened that the thread was used on another person who got cut and the same thread was used on me. Now the situation was kind of making sense to me, but I have no evidence to prove my innocence.
A month passed I started taking my medicines and I was fine just like any other regular person nothing really changed except I missed my family.
One day this lady took me to their non-formal school, there were many children and women who didn’t have the basic amenity for the living but they still had hope for living. Soon I started visiting their school and I started taking computer classes after office while taking classes I established an affectionate bond with a twin girl actually they looked quite similar to my daughter. I adopted them eventually because we shared a very strong bond. Now, one of them is studying abroad and the other is staying with me, she also works as a volunteer for Turnstone Global promoting HIV awareness and works for a multinational company also.
Today I am still alive and HIV affected my body but not my soul, I accept that once upon a time I just wanted to end my life and yes all thanks to the lady (she didn’t want me to take her name) from Turnstone Global she showed me the way of living. Her point was simple and that every person does not have everything in their life there is always something you will miss out that will tear you and break you; here you need to look at the people who has nothing and still they believe they can make a difference in the society. My family abandoned me, may be my own daughter don’t even know about my existence, but my twin daughter thinks me to be their hero, in fact, all the kids whom I teach love me and adore me, that what everybody needs in life.
